Gay Love? God Forbid!
by Miss Random905
Summary: The journey of the suppressed feelings that Cas and Dean have for each other. Atm, I'm only in Season 4 but I ship Destiel very much so. My first story, don't rip me to shreds please .


Dean stopped fumbling with the vending machine. He paused, gazing at the concealing sky. This, he thought, this is the universes greatest mystery. Where Heaven lies. Where Castiel came from. Castiel. He never understood him, never understood why he felt so alone without him. If only he were here now...should he pray to see him?

A cold breeze blew by. "It's good that you pray Dean. It's a sign of faith." Cas murmured. No, Dean thought to himself, it's not a sign. It's a beginning. A beginning of a love so strong neither Heaven nor Hell alike could ever break it.

Dean turned around to face Cas. He had to maintain his attitude, damage control, hide the emotions. He quickly glanced at Castiel's puppy-dog eyes. The butterflies broke free again and he worked to suppress them. "Castiel. You have to help me. You have to help me save Sam." Cas's face stiffened, fighting a frown that would reveal his emotions. He really wished that Dean would summon him for _him_, why was it always about Sam? He remained silent. Dean continued, "Castiel, he's gone. Not even Ruby knows where he is. It's been a day." Cas's frown loosened. One day, Sam is gone for one day and Dean turns to him for help. Could it be possible that he was on Deans mind as much as Dean was on his? No. No, Dean was just worried about his little brother. Worried more than ever since Lilith was back on the loose. Dean noticed the change in expression, "Cas, this isn't good news." Cas's stomach fluttered at the mention of a nickname. Dean voice got hard with anger but it was cute to Cas, "Why are you smirking? He's probably trying to track her down now! Say something!". Remaining calm Castiel did as he was ordered, "Your brother is fine. He drove to visit Bobby. He is sick, did you not know that?". Voice clipped, Dean snapped back, "Of course I knew. I just don't know why he would leave without me. He took my baby too, he better take care of those new tires." Cas kept his face emotionless but he was falling. Because if Deans baby was gone, then it wasn't here standing with him.

It was at that moment when Deans phone rang. The shilling tone echoed through the night. With lighting speed, Dean whipped it out of his pocket, and it was on his ear. "Sam? Sam where are you? Are you ok?" Cas could easily hear Sam on the other line, mournfully bringing the news of Bobby's death. It had been peaceful, he went in his sleep. A rare death for a hunter. Dean shut his eyes and tilted his head back to the stars. This would usually be when Cas would leave, disappear into the night. But Dean was in pain. It had never bothered Castiel before, but it did now. He silently watched as Dean acknowledged the death and told Sam to drive home safely. He bent down his head to face the ground as he shut off the phone and returned it to his pocket. He now stared at the ground, tears in his eyes. Bobby was the c,ostest thing to a father he ever had, and would ever have. Cas wanted reach out, to touch his shoulder. Hell, he wanted to embraces him and wipe away the tears. But he stood stiff. No, he could not have these emotions, these wants. "Why are you still here?" Dean asked quietly. Hurt flashed through Castiel's eyes, but he was right. Cas couldn't touch him, comfort him, but he couldn't help himself to say something, "He went peacefully.", and vanished.

Dean looked up to the empty air. Cas's absence made him feel heavy. Stupid, he thought to himself, so stupid to wish him away. How he longed to be wrapped in the warmth of Castiel's arms, to be pampered for once. Bobby's death had weighed him down, but never being able to have Cas broke him.

Later that night the rumble of the Impala stopped in front of the motel, and Sams footsteps echoed through the night as he walked to the door and opened it. Dean awoke from his slumber, cheeks immediately turning red. He had been dreaming of Castiel. Sam shut the door behind him. "Dude. Serious happy noises. Who was it about?" Sam questioned, grinning. Dean was fully awake by now. "What?! No one, nothing, and that's my line. Go to sleep." Sam stood there, "Christen, Clara, Carly? I heard a C..." Dean swatted at him, panicking a bit. Sams guesses were to close for comfort. C for Cas. C for his true love. "Bitch, I said go away." Sam giving up said while walking to his bed, "Alright grump. I'll talk to you in the morning then." Dean sighed and sank back into bed. But before he drifted off again, he swore he could have felt a cool breeze brush against he face, swore he had heard a silent sigh in the darkness.

Cas dared to brush an invisible hand by Deans face. He was asleep, he wouldn't notice, right? Castiel sighed, partly with happiness, partly with sadness. He had been there the whole time, watching Dean sleep. He couldn't are the thought of Dean alone in this sketchy motel, not without Sam. He had heard the murmurs of his name in Deans dream state. Now he knew that Dean had the same feelings for him, which made his emotions soar through the clouds of Heaven. But it was bittersweet, as he couldn't not tell Dean his feelings or ever openly display his love without being killed by the angels for being homosexual. No, his soul was free but trapped within his mind. But he was going to express his love to Dean, just carefully. He wanted to make him happy. He had a plan. Castiel was going to get Bobby Signer back for him.


End file.
